From The Private Diary of Sebastian Michaelis - 1887

I haven’t bothered with this journal for a while. This absence was occasioned by being trapped in a coal cellar with the young master, Lady Elizabeth and a coal demon for a long while. Still, we had an almost endless supply of Cabinet Pudding and Tea and used the time profitably to read the entire works of William Shakespeare. The young masterbegan to delight in waking up each morning and declaring ‘Alas poor Yoric, I knew him well Horatio’ at the coal demon, till after ten days of this, the coal demon escaped through the flue. Good riddance, his ‘Hamlet’ was abysmal.

Once Finny and Bard had broken down the door, we left for Regent Street to make purchases for Christmas. A dozen shops later, with the carriage groaning under the weight of gifts selected after much deliberation by young master, Lady Elizabeth decided she simply had to visit the Dollmaker. I cautioned her against this course of action, and politely reminded her the last time we had been to his Emporium he had turned her into a demon doll and nearly killed us. “But, in truth, surely he has forsaken his ways?” She inquired. Ciel gave her a withering look. I had seen that look before in his eyes, usually just before he called Checkmate. “Lizzie, does the sun set in the east?” Milady shook her head: “Of course not, you silly boy!” Ciel leaned forward wiping a speck of dust from his knee. “Then beware the Dollmaker is stillhomicidal and utterly mad.”

There was a long pause, broken only by the rustle of paper as Milady tore open a packet of biscuits, and began eating them one by one. I was thankful it was not brittle toffee. The confection is like tarmacadam they use to cover the highways. Ciel glared at her and then opened a newspaper and began reading.

I suggested we stop at Lyons Tea House for some Earl Grey. Young master agreed and Lady Elizabeth made a noise like a cough. We climbed out of the carriage. Mae and Finny were in charge of the reins, I promised them we would stop in Brick Lane later and buy some curry.

Once inside the tea house we sat at a table across from the large picture window through which we could all see the carriage. After a while we were served, then it began to rain. The servants hurried inside leaving the carriage unguarded, which was an indiscretion.

Two ruffians, from may be the South of the River, jumped into the driver’s seat and made off with the carriage. Ciel spat his tea out and demanded I rescue the carriage and the 96 different presents he had just acquired at my expense. “Yes m’lud” I said, as after all I am one hell of a butler.

It would soon be Saturday and I would no doubt be sent on another mission of Merry Making.

I must go now. Lady Elizabeth is staying tonight and has developed a fascination for obscure types of tea.

From The Private Diary of Sebastian Michaelis - 1887

The week before Hallowe’en, about a quarter to midnight

I am stuck away in my garret room which looks over the grounds. The moon is up already, casting a white light upon the grounds, illuminating the statues and Tanaka’s stone garden. Today was extremely busy. I never tire, as I am one hell of a butler, but Ciel is very trying at the moment. For some reason he has decided there should be a ball this year. On a Saturday of all nights. So, between dancing lessons, and visits to the Costumier in Soho, I have tried my very best to avoid losing my temper.

“Sebastian, you know very well it is the wrong shade of blue. It simply won’t do at all.” We had spent three hours looking at hundreds of yards of cloth in blue, dark blue, purple-blue, sky blue and even a baby robin’s egg blue, but Ciel insisted none of the colors would suit. Finally the Costumier brought out a blue he referred to as the Deathly Pale Blue. Ciel screamed with delight and bounced up and down like a puppet upon a string. “This is exactly the color I must choose.”

“Young Master only wears midnight blue. Who is it for?” I tentatively asked. I stepped back and waited.

“For Lizzy, of course, Sebastian.”

“The young lady is wearing pink for the next two weeks. I have this on good authority from her companion.” I waited, Ciel’s face went a contorted purple. I hesitated to suggest to the Costumier he may try to match this unique color, and call it “Angry Blue”, but by then Ciel had tossed the expensive silks into the air and stormed out of the Costumier’s Enporium.

I found him later eating tea and biscuits in the Lyon’s Tea House off Trafalgar Square with a face like thunder. It took my best endeavors to persuade him to come back to the Costumiers as he had to now choose something in pink.

Well, that wraps up the day, I think. I hear Ciel demanding tea again, so I must go do his bidding.

Two days after Michaelmas, about a quarter to nine in the evening.

Today has been rather tiresome. Pluto defecated again in the Drawing Room. Nobody noticed it as Ciel and Lady Elizabeth were fighting over who should go first whilst playing Backgammon. The noise was truly terrific. It gave me a headache. The smell, though, was uncommonly vile, reminded me of some of the streets near Alders Gate in East London. I had wondered if Young Master had been feeding Pluto curry buns again. I truly believe Ciel has such a wicked sense of humor. He knows I cannot abide dogs, even demon hounds such as Pluto are only tolerated for the help they provide in defending the estate. Yes, indeed. Defending the estate….

The Colonel and his men were back again this morning, armed to the teeth with rifles and pulling a new quick fire weapon they call a ‘Machine Gun’ or ‘Maxim’. They attacked the East Wing just before breakfast…..

“Sebastian! Sebastian! Come here, now!” Ciel was saying.

“My Lord? More tea?”

“No, you idiot. Outside. Is that gun fire I can hear?”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like more tea? War can make you thirsty, you know, young sir.”

“So you know, do you? Hey, I said…”

It was at that point a rather loud explosion occurred, shaking the very foundations of the house. Three heart beats later Finny and Bard rushed into the Dining Room, all sweaty and shaken. “Cor, would ya believe it?” Bard said. Ciel fixed him with a steely glare from his uncovered eye, I imagine most likely because the man had spoken before Ciel had acknowledged his presence. “Big un, like it were, the entire garden shed went up, bang! Finny is beside himself.” Finny said nothing but sobbed quietly, his tear dripping into the upturned sixth boiled egg I had just salted for young Master.

“Sebastian, kindly go see what is wrong, and remove that egg, and Finny, from the table.”

“His lawn mower went fifty feet in the air and crashed on the Number Four cucumber frame by the lily pond.”

“Oh shut up, nobody cares,” Ciel muttered. “You’ve ruined my breakfast.”

There was a second even louder explosion. “That’ll be the generator, I’d say!” Bard shouted and rushed off in the direction of the kitchen.

There was a brief silence, then I heard a whistling sound, more like a kettle boiling, but not quite. Bard rushed back with our erstwhile maid. “Take cover, mortar rounds, two hundred yards.”

Boom! Another whistle, boom-boom. The glass in the window exploded. Fortunately I was now standing behind and a little to the left of Young Master, and shielded him from the falling shards which showered us both.

“Sebastian,” Ciel said, icily, “you know what to do.”

“Is that an order, young sir?”

“Yes. Kill them all.”

Ciel threw down a while embroidered napkin over the remains of the boiled eggs. I hastened to do his bidding…..

About midday, I cooked the Young Master a selection of Savories to keep his strength up for the burial. He had become convinced the fallen should have a burial and Finny enjoyed digging holes in the 40th acre. We went, said a few words, and returned. I made a fresh pot of Earl Grey and then it was time for dancing lessons. I hated dancing lessons. But they were necessary. It would never do for the young Lord of Phantomhive to be seen incapable.

Besides, Lady Elizabeth had called to say she would be taking a carriage at five for High Tea. and possibly cards afterwards.

There went the afternoon. I had a huge amount of shirts to iron for the week, and I rather enjoyed making them as starched as possible so Ciel could appreciate them so much more.

I had also hidden all the soft collars.

I have to go, he wants more tea and I still have Pluto’s deposit of filth to attend to.

This is probably one of the best animes I have seen (based on the first 24 episodes which we finished watching this weekend).

Some critics complain about the “humor” interrupting the story. I find the black humor adds to the story, not detracts.

Hollywood couldn’t make this, they would have a “happy Ending” for all.